How to know if your relationship is not good for you

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Everyone deserves to be in a healthy relationship where they are happy and feel fulfilled. It is rather unfortunate that most couples stick together in unhealthy relationships that is not good for them. Interestingly, you may be in a relationship that is not good for you and you do not know it. People outside the relationship will easily identify a bad or unhealthy relationship than the couple in one. The following are the typical signs that you can use to gauge whether your relationship is good for you or not.


*Lack of communication
When you find yourself in a situation whereby you do not feel that you can talk to your partner, or understand him or her when they talk to you, then you are going to have many unresolved issues. The bond you share as a couple is likely to be broken. This is a common problem faced by many couples and can easily be resolved if both partners are willing to work at it. Otherwise, if you or your partner is not willing to put in some effort, then you are going to end up in a relationship that is not good for you.

*Control
No one should have total control over another adult in a relationship. Control may be a precursor to abuse and loss of self-esteem. You are each entitled to your own opinions and should be able to make independent choices. One person should not have total control over everything so much that it takes away the other’s freedom of choice. That does not in any way mean that you cannot compromise, but for you to compromise it means that you're communicating and considerate of each other’s opinions and choices. Your relationship is not good for you if you do not have control over yourself.

*Abuse
If you are going through any form of abuse, your relationship is not good for you. Physical abuse includes being smacked, hit, tripped, shoved, pushed or knocked down. Mental abuse may include being called names, belittled, insulted, disrespected or threatened. You can recognise mental abuse if you are constantly worried about what your partner is going to do to you or when you are afraid all the time. Sexual abuse is whereby you are forced into sex by your partner whether you are married or not. This is a very serious offence and should not be tolerated. If you are in any kind of abuse then it is time to pack and walk away; it is not only unhealthy but also not good for your well-being.

*Isolation
A partner who intends to abuse you and have total control over you will start by isolating you from your family and friends. They will often times discourage you from having these other relationships so that you feel there are no people you could go to for help. It is fairly normal to spend most of your time with your partner but not to the extreme of losing the important relations in your life.
This is how to know your relationship is not good for you. In addition to the above, you can do a self-assessment; take an online test or ask your close friends and family what they think about your relationship.

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