English accents

Is it also hard for others to believe that Great Britain was the country from which long-ago ancestors seeded our continent with pioneering emigrants from their "Old World" country, Great Britain? I have heard it said, that the United States and Great Britain are friendly, allied countries, separated only by an ocean and a common language. I wonder why then, the Brits speak "English" with a heavy, thick accent. If both countries began with common stock, speaking the same tongue, wouldn't we sound the same when we talk? Many words those Limeys use for common objects do not even mean the same thing, to those of us that speak REAL English.

The words, Hood, elevator, toilet, truck, umbrella, police officer, congress, president, lawyer and bar, in what I'll call "Great brutish British," become; bonnet, lift, loo, (Snicker) lorry, bumbershoot, (Giggle!) bobby, (Snort!) Parliament, Queen, (HAW, HAW, HAW!) solicitor, and pub! Ask one of them to spell the word "color." They do not even SPELL things that both countries agree are called by the same word, as we the true progenitors of English, do! Like as if that is not enough, they even drive on the WRONG side of the ROAD!

Nope! There has to be another explanation. I theorize that Great Britain, certain that we residents of the United States were destined to become the big, scary, new kid on the block, slowly and quietly began claiming common origin. Nobody cared if this was true or not. After awhile, nobody disputed this, all who knew better had died. They imperfectly began to emulate our speech and fabricated a false history in order to make it appear that they had driven us off their island like heretics and criminals, just as they did with Australia. AHA! This is where the fabric of their tissue of lies begins to unravel!

Australians, New Zealanders, western Canadians, and those from India and Pakistan use nearly the same corrupted "English" as the Brits do, proving that WE came first! They just wanted to be like "big brother" but could not seem to get the language right. This is only natural, and I guess that we should be flattered, but I wish that the British English speakers would finally just own up to their attempted subterfuge. Confession is supposedly good for the soul, but Americans do not really know this, having sold ours for land and oil and power, but that is neither here nor there.

Anyway, we Americans would be happy to instruct the Brits and the Aussies on proper pronunciation, spelling, nomenclature, driving, dentistry, etc. but I fear that we will never blunt that awful accent that they all speak with. They seem to be incapable of speaking proper "President's English." Cannot have everything, I guess.